They say: "When the love is done, all you have to do is - move on and never look back." Everyone deserves to be loved, but what happens when you are in love with the wrong person? Or what happens when someone stops loving you the way they should? Or when someone breaks your heart? The best thing to do in that situation is to walk away and find a new life for yourself or with someone else.
For one, I have been into several relationships, and each had a tale of how the lovey-dovey ended. Truth is: it hurts when you see someone you once fell in love with become a stranger before your eyes, and there is nothing you could do about it. I learned the hard way; I hope anyone reading this would find the courage to get over that person they genuinely love. I put this article together for anyone going through a similar experience and needs help with getting their life back again.
You may never stop loving someone the moment you start. It gets worse when you have created memories like visiting some places in the world, tagging it your "PLACE," or trying out new things together in the relationship. These things mess with the mind and make you almost believe you are in a fairy-tale.
Funnily enough, it doesn't matter who broke the relationship; the pain will be felt either way. However, one party could feel it more than the other. Below, I will be enlightening you on how to get over someone you deeply love, and I hope you find it useful.
The first stage of a breakup is denial. It almost feels surreal that such a person broke up with you for one reason or another; some even do without reasons. When this happens, the best thing for you to do is accept the situation. Often, people find it challenging to comprehend what happened, and at the moment, you would want to see the person and make it work all over again. If you don't accept the situation, you will only be hurting yourself, especially if the other person was ready to move on.
First, try to get rid of their contacts because you could be tempted a couple of times to send them a text. Most people who don't do this always end up making a fool of themselves. Next, make sure you don't stalk them on social media like a jealous ex. Usually, stalking is not healthy, but you may not be able to help it if you are not ready to accept that it is over. Lastly, try to avoid conversations that involve the person because they are not that part of your life that you had imagined anymore.
In a bid to accept the new status, don't try to bottle up your emotions because it doesn't end well. Everyone deals with a breakup in different ways - most times, people cry. You don't look weak by letting your emotions out, as opposed to what others think. Without a doubt, you've gone through a difficult time that seems overwhelming, and you are trying to handle it.
What you shouldn't do in the process is getting angry at yourself because it puts you at a higher risk. You are enough for yourself, and you only got into the situation because you felt you were in love. Nobody should make you feel any less of yourself, so you should rather waste your tears on the fact that you are heartbroken.
Also, getting rid of things that constantly remind you of the person is another way to let those emotions out. Take that picture off the wall. Delete those photos you took together on your phone. Hide those dresses you made together, if necessary. No one would judge you for feeling this way.
While trying to get over someone you love, you may need to become a writer. You don't have to be serious about it, but having a place where you can pen down your thoughts and emotions will be great. Even before a breakup, diaries are a good way to communicate with your mind; it is therapeutic. Writing how you feel makes you think like you are talking to someone, and at the same time, privacy is guaranteed.
You could decide to write daily or occasionally, depending on how you feel as each day passes by. Within a few weeks of doing this, you would slowly start withdrawing the feelings that you gave someone else to yourself. Besides, it makes you appreciate yourself even more. However, in whatever you do, ensure you do not mention the person you broke up with, in the diary/journal.
As aforementioned, don't feel guilty for falling in love. Most relationships work, and others don't - you were only unfortunate to be a part of those that don't work. For instance, you could start thinking of why you fell in love in the first place or why you went into a relationship even when you saw the red flags. The truth is: no one knows what to expect of a relationship until they are in one.
Everyone's journey into a relationship is different; however, there are a few things to learn. Most people have been able to learn how sensitive they are to issues; for others, an understanding of their temperaments and the things they want. Also, it helps you know the things you should look out for in your next relationship. When you start feeling guilty about being in a relationship, it means you never learned anything.
One of the best times to get productive is after a breakup. It is funny but true. Depending on how the relationship ended, you could spend more time working on yourself rather than constantly trying to hurt yourself by thinking of the other person. There are several ways you can channel your energy into something productive. For instance, it could be a time for self-discovery, or better still, a time for you to embark on some projects you procrastinated for a long time. It would surprise you on how dedicated you will be at it.
Peradventure, you don't have anything significant to do, you could spend more time watching movies, reading books, volunteering for programs, visiting new places, and filling your journals with these events. Also, you could spend time with close friends. Whatever you do, make sure you are not alone, and if you are, make sure you are focused on other things. In the end, you will be grateful that you had the time alone to fix many things about yourself (sometimes, breakups are great!).
Learn how to validate yourself when others don't. Sometimes, you would feel that the other person who you deeply loved left you because he or she didn't treasure or appreciate the moments you spent together. The truth is: they do, but it wasn't just enough to keep the relationship rolling, coupled with other issues. So, during the time while you are trying to move on, appreciate and celebrate the little things you do - they go a long way. Always feel like you are the best at what you do, and make corrections when other people tell you to.
In essence, when you learn how to appreciate yourself, you wouldn't care if someone took you for granted in your next relationship. The one thing that you should stay consistent is that you approve of yourself.
Finally, you may need to get over someone that broke your heart by preparing to be in another relationship. Now, it doesn't mean you should look for a rebound, but after you have gone through different stages to make yourself better, then you should take another shot at relationships. If you are trying to avoid falling in love because someone broke your heart and you fear it would happen all over again, you may lose out on who would love you genuinely.
Make sure you are ready. Spend more time trying to get to know the new person. Discover the flaws and perfections of such a person. Always try to be honest about how you feel and what you expect in relationships. When you do all of these and more, you would be able to tell if you are ready for another ride or not. Even if the relationship ends abruptly, you will figure out what to work on all over.
Relationships are fun until someone breaks your heart, and you try to start all over. Getting over someone you deeply love is a difficult thing to do, but in the end, you will. I hope the tricks above works for you if you are going through this heart-breaking experience. Remember, love comes with happy moments and pain.